If you’re not a TV personality
If you’re not a rock star
If you’re not a winning athlete
If you’re not an important politician
If you’re not a TikTok influencer
If you’re not an insecure teen…
Then you need to know, NOBODY IS LOOKING AT YOU.
You worry about what to wear to your friend’s birthday party – you try on several different combinations of garments, nothing feels right; you may even shop for something new.
All wasted effort and energy.
Because when the event is over, nobody will remember what you wore! Nobody paid any attention to what you were wearing. Likely, if asked, they probably can’t tell you what colour your eyes are!
I don’t remember when I realized I was mostly invisible. In part, my invisibility is the result of my age – 82 is pretty old and nobody pays any attention to old women. However, nobody’s paid any attention to how I look for quite some time.
I remind people when they mither about what to wear, “Nobody is looking at you!”
That doesn’t mean I should take no pains to be reasonably well put together – but I shouldn’t be dressing in some interesting way because I want the approval or the attention of the people around me – because they aren’t paying attention.
I could commandeer attention the way the late Iris Apfel did – you have to admit you couldn’t miss her. And I bet she had great fun dreaming up outfits with great panache! (I never met her. Just came across photos from time to time.)
My wardrobe is conservative.
But I have a knit sweater collection with unusual bright patterns
I have several unique quilted jackets I’ve made
I even own some bright neckwear (I do love Iris’ collection of necklaces – the question is how does she manage the weight of it all?).
But I’m most comfortable in a turtleneck with a light wool sweater and a simple pair of pants.
I dress for comfort.
I don’t dress to be noticed.
That’s because I know no-one is looking at me!
jmn 
I will get a hold of you soon:)
I might not be looking at you but think of you often😊 Miss you a bunch
Maybe it’s time to get together for lunch?
And also no one is looking at the dust on the buffet. And they may or may not remember what you served them but they will remember that you were a good hostess and that there were lots of laughter and good food.
Yup. You got it!
I love this post of yours Judith! I have to say that I am very self conscious of what I wear especially because I am heavier than I should be at my age and the sad thing is that I don’t go to some events because I don’t have anything to wear.
I think you always look fabulous and you always make beautiful garments that suit you to a tee! You are a brilliant woman and I respect and always admire everything that you create!
I am arriving in Halifax on Monday and I hope we can have a visit during my stay!
Joy, keep telling yourself “Nobody is looking at me!” “Nobody is noticing me!” Do you know how I know? Because the next day, maybe even before that, I don’t remember and I’m sort of an observant person. Our appearance isn’t what people remember – they remember how they felt after spending time with you – did they enjoy your stories? Did they appreciate that you listened to theirs? It’s not how you look that matters!
How long are you staying? Maybe we can manage a meal with Deb like last time.
Thanks for the reminder! ☺️
Just keepin’ life on an even keel! Direct your energy where it matters. Thanks for responding!