Nobody’s Looking At You…

If you’re not a TV personality
If you’re not a rock star
If you’re not a winning athlete
If you’re not an important politician
If you’re not a TikTok influencer
If you’re not an insecure teen…
Then you need to know, NOBODY IS LOOKING AT YOU.

You worry about what to wear to your friend’s birthday party – you try on several different combinations of garments, nothing feels right; you may even shop for something new.

All wasted effort and energy.

Because when the event is over, nobody will remember what you wore! Nobody paid any attention to what you were wearing. Likely, if asked, they probably can’t tell you what colour your eyes are!

I don’t remember when I realized I was mostly invisible. In part, my invisibility is the result of my age – 82 is pretty old and nobody pays any attention to old women. However, nobody’s paid any attention to how I look for quite some time.

I remind people when they mither about what to wear, “Nobody is looking at you!”

That doesn’t mean I should take no pains to be reasonably well put together – but I shouldn’t be dressing in some interesting way because I want the approval or the attention of the people around me – because they aren’t paying attention.

I could commandeer attention the way the late Iris Apfel did – you have to admit you couldn’t miss her. And I bet she had great fun dreaming up outfits with great panache! (I never met her. Just came across photos from time to time.)

Iris Apfel

My wardrobe is conservative.
But I have a knit sweater collection with unusual bright patterns
I have several unique quilted jackets I’ve made
I even own some bright neckwear (I do love Iris’ collection of necklaces – the question is how does she manage the weight of it all?).
But I’m most comfortable in a turtleneck with a light wool sweater and a simple pair of pants.

I dress for comfort.
I don’t dress to be noticed.
That’s because I know no-one is looking at me!

Lego Flowers

Lego Flowers

While I was in Toronto, I saw my niece’s lego flowers. She had three bouquets on her buffet, two were real flowers, the third was constructed from lego. From a distance it was hard to tell them apart.

An inveterate puzzle doer, I was taken by the challenge of putting the flowers together so I ordered myself two kits. As soon as they arrived, I couldn’t refrain from opening each box and start assembling the flowers.

The boxes come with two books of instructions – that should tell you something.

Making up the flowers is not easy. I started at the first flower in the book – the lavender. The pieces are tiny and clicking them together (no tools but fingers) proved somewhat difficult, particularly since as I tried building the flower stalk it wouldn’t stay together (after working on a number of flowers, I hauled out my tube of gorilla glue and stuck the intransigent joins together). However, I finally managed to assemble the two lavender stalks.

I moved on to the two alliums – those were easier because the tiny flowers fit the pedicles firmly.

It took me four days to construct all the flowers. I’d been immersed in the puzzle to the exclusion of just about everything else – an enjoyable challenge.

Once done, I was able to come back to the quilt.

I have nowhere to put the vase of flowers. At the moment it’s sitting on my kitchen island raised counter. I’ll probably just give them away in the end.

The AI Bot

I’ve just had what I think was my first encounter with a customer service AI Bot! I’ve dealt with AI Chat Bots when I’ve contacted customer service and that little “Chat” pop-up shows up at the bottom or side of my screen. I always ask to talk to a “human” – that usually gets me to an actual person. But this “chat” was different.

I was reading an article by a young Canadian woman – an influencer – who was discussing being able to buy Canadian-made clothing instead of garments made in the US, and she gave several links to companies which she disclosed would pay her a small amount if we clicked on them.

I wasn’t concerned about the fact that she was a paid influencer – I was curious to see the made-in-Canada pants she was describing. So I clicked on her link and got to the page where I saw them:

Obviously made in a soft “micromodal” fabric (some bamboo in the rib knit (the cuffs), some fullness at the top, tapered legs, comfortable fit at the natural waist.

Interesting – I checked out the size info – I’m interested in whether it’s remotely possible that I can fit my size XXL waist and size S bum in a single pair of pants. At the bottom of the size info page is a “contact us” link so I click on it. In the message box I wrote:

How do I pick a size when my waist is XXL and my hip is S?

Here’s the answer I got:

Thank you for reaching out! I understand it can be a bit tricky when your measurements vary like that. We recommend checking out our general size chart, which you can view here: (a link to the size guide info pop-up).

If you’re still in doubt, please feel free to reply with your complete measurements (bust, waist, and hips) for the specific garment you are interested in, and we’d be happy to check with our production team to help you find the best size.

Looking forward to helping you feel confidently comfortable in your (company name) pieces 😊

Could be a person, could be an AI Bot. I carry on.

My bust is large: 38” – 40”; My waist is xxl: 35” – 37”; My hip is small: 38” – 40”
I was looking at the dressy sweatpant (and gave the link to the pants)

I get a reply back – too fast for it to have been from a person, who would have needed to have taken time first to read my note, then write the response (or to find one of the stock replies – which this is):

Thanks for sharing your measurements! Based on the information provided, I would recommend trying the Dressy Sweatpant in size XXL to ensure a comfortable fit around the waist. The design should accommodate your bust and hips comfortably as well.

If you have any other questions or need further assistance, feel free to reach out!

Now it’s confirmed I’m dealing with an AI Bot – it’s the “design should accommodate your bust and hips comfortably as well.” My bust has no relevance to the fit of a pair of pants! A person would not have made that comment.

I reach out one more time – curious what the AI Bot will reply:

And what do I do with all that excess fabric in the bum?

I loved the response that followed:

I understand that extra fabric in certain areas can be a bit frustrating. Our pieces are crafted to feel both comfortable and stylish, but I understand everyone’s body is unique. If you’re finding that the fit isn’t exactly right for you in the bum area, you might consider having the garment adjusted by a trusted tailor. They could help modify the fit to achieve the look and comfort you’re after, ensuring that all the right areas flatter you perfectly.

If there’s anything else I can help with, just let me know 😊

I knew before I started the conversation that I can’t buy pants that fit from this manufacturer. I can’t buy pants from any manufacturer which is why I’ve made my own for almost 50 years! At that point I stop.

But I get one more note from the company asking me to rate my conversation. I answer:

The AI Bot was a bit dumb! Didn’t understand a bust measurement was of no use in fitting pants! And completely unsympathetic with my problem – large waist and small bum!

Oh well – I won’t be buying the pants although I’ll look for a similar pattern and adjust it to fit my size. Your pants just won’t fit!

And I get one final note – this time it may be from an actual human – it’s signed (which none of the earlier responses were).

I’m really sorry to hear that you felt the fit of our pants wasn’t right for you and that our initial advice didn’t address your concerns appropriately. I truly understand how challenging it can be when your body measurements don’t seem to match a single size – and I regret that our sizing guidance didn’t provide the clarity and sympathy you were looking for.

Your feedback is very important, and I will make sure it’s passed along so that we can work on improving how we assist with these unique proportions in the future. I hope that when you’re ready to explore more options, we can help you find something that feels just right.

Thank you for giving us a chance, and please know we’re here if you ever need anything else 😊

With gratitude,
Carolina

So while a person may have actually read and responded to me this last time, it still feels like a stock answer.

That’s the end of the conversation – time for me to delete it all and forget about it.

I just thought to myself “this is what we’re going to be facing more and more – bland, generic, responses to our questions when we’re looking for customer service. Much cheaper to program some AI Bot than paying a person to actually interact with customers.”

Too bad I’m not buying anything from Lands End (I’m not buying anything from any US company, if I can help it) – I always call them rather than order online because their operators are so chatty and interesting. You can have a real conversation about where they live, what the weather is like there, how long they’ve been working for Lands End. I’ve made a friend by the time my order is completed. Feels satisfying.

This AI Bot? No way!

Bishop Budde’s Sermon

I’m a devout atheist. Have been since the age of 8. I grew up in a secular Jewish home with parents who weren’t observant in any way. My encounter with religious nonsense happened when in fourth grade I was given a Gideon bible and then was required to relinquish it because the rabbi didn’t want the children of his congregation to be exposed to any Christian scripture. 

At 8, I was already a rabid reader. For me, this bible was just another story book. At 8, I was offended by the oppressive way the rabbi (and my acquiescing parents) determined to restrict my reading choices. At 8, I quietly took a stand. I would become a skeptical Jew. 

At age 12, I prepared for a Bat-Mitzvah. Not the same full religious coming of age ritual in which boys participate, just a small contribution within a Friday evening service. That, in itself, spoke loudly to me of the inferior status of women within Judaism. Worse, was my encounter with the book of Leviticus during the preparation for the service. I was particularly offended by the description of the “uncleanliness” of women. The rabbi offered flowery explanations of those passages when I questioned the proscription. I didn’t buy them – they were male rationalizations against the essence of woman. At age 12, I walked away from religion.

So I respond to Bishop Budde’s sermon in an a-religious way. I respond to the politics of her act. I respond to her courage to confront these significant social issues in a very public way with the very people deciding the fate of many frightened people!

If you haven’t seen the critical part of her sermon you must watch it:

Listen to her words and watch the faces of the powerful!

If you want to understand why she took a deep breath and spoke aloud these deepest tenets of her faith watch her interview with Rachel Maddow: 

John Pavolitz urges other religious leaders to follow suit: 

Don’t Let Bishop Budde Stand Alone: A Challenge to Every Minister in America

Not only am I an atheist, I’m a Canadian not an American citizen. But the escalating chaos I see as an outside observer makes me fearful for the majority of US citizens because the rising tide of hate and xenophobia will pit neighbour against neighbour, will break long standing friendships, disrupt families, make the vulnerable even more vulnerable. 

Steve Schmidt sounded a warning in his Substack today: 

The Warning with Steve Schmidt: The big lie

These and many more upcoming decisions by trump and his administration are going to have world-wide consequences. I don’t claim to be prescient; but the rising tide is obvious to anybody willing to see.

Twenty Lessons On Tyranny

Timothy Snyder shared his Twenty Lessons On Tyranny eight years ago on the occasion of the 2017 inauguration. He reshared the list again today Jan 20 2025: https://substack.com/home/post/p-155209838?source=queue

Read his post (it’s short and to the point). Print it. Pass it on.

The advice is relevant everywhere in today’s world, whether you live in an autocratic country or a democracy (?). I’m astounded by the number of rich and powerful who have already kowtowed to the wannabe autocrat violating Lesson #1: Do not obey in advance!

https://anntelnaes.substack.com/p/why-im-quitting-the-washington-post

Says it all.

[Ann Telnaes resigned from the Washington Post over this cartoon – they refused to publish it because it included Jeff Bezos bowing down and making a payment both of which he did for a ticket to the inauguration(?).]

What Small Thing Would Help You Right Now?

I just read an interesting article “Eight Words to Say to a Friend“! It’s about a young woman and her small daughter landing in Cambridge England, late at night, arriving at their college accommodation, utterly exhausted. Their friend, whom they were visiting, popped out of her apartment, hugged them, and asked:

What small thing would help you right now now?

She continues:

Not: Can I do something for you? 

Not: How can I help?

Not the terribly generic and unhelpful: Let me know if you need anything.(Anything???!)

But: “What small thing would help you right now?

Something about the specificity, the smallness of it, was a revelation. 

These days, I’m often in the position of seeing someone needing support of some kind or other. I used to ask “Can I do something for you?” and been turned away, graciously, but my offer of help rejected, nevertheless.

I started asking, “What can I do for you?” A bit more specific, but not any more effective.

I learned as a teacher the question I needed to ask a struggling student was not “How can I help you?” but “What do you need help with?” Again, the focus is shifted from me to the learner. It worked with even the most recalcitrant kid (1).

What small thing would help you right now?” is definitely a better question in a social situation – focused on my friend and not on me. I have to try it, the next time I’m able to offer assistance when I find a friend dealing with a stressful situation!


(1) Another critical incident (2009; Newman, Judith “On Becoming A Better Teacher”).

One of the most difficult transitions I personally have had to make has been dealing with kids’ resistance, their ‘not-learning’ as Herb Kohl (1994) calls it. Just when I think I have some control over my responses I run into a kid who pushes me back into my instinctual, authoritarian way of responding. There’s one like that in one of the third grade classes I’ve been visiting.

In my experience when kids avoid engaging, offering some support brings about a small shift in attitude. Usually I can get a kid to ‘just try’. I’ve learned that helping kids to be successful overcomes a lot of their resistance. But I can’t even get near this one — Andrew, I’ll call him. He cuts me off by turning away from me before I can offer help of any kind. His body language is real clear — stay away!

Part of Andrew’s problem is that he doesn’t read or write very well. At age nine, that’s starting to be serious. He’s bright, so he knows what the others can do and he can’t. He behaves aggressively — pinching, hitting, or jabbing his classmates with a pencil. They don’t want anything to do with him. His behaviour keeps them from discovering his shortcomings, but at a cost — by isolating himself he is unable to build friendship.

I’m flummoxed. Andrew is showing quite clearly he won’t learn from me. And each time I attempt to engage him I seem to be digging the hole deeper. Andrew evokes the ‘witch’ in me. Although I understand his antagonism, I react to it in a way that doesn’t help him. I find myself wanting to force him to try.

I have no trouble engaging Jake, who drives the teacher crazy. He doesn’t make me bristle the way Andrew does. The question is what about the behaviour gets to me in Andrew’s case and not in Jake’s. What in my own history is being triggered by Andrew and not by Jake?

Maybe it’s the way Andrew rejects assistance. When he cuts me off I just walk away. I’ve learned there’s no point in attempting to cajole him and I have no authority to insist he do anything. But I’m not happy walking away. I keep wondering what I’m doing that evokes Andrew’s resistance and what I could do that would permit us to work out a different kind of relationship (JN. Journal: 11/7/1995).

Writing about the problem helped me see Andrew and I were engaged in a power/control struggle.

I was rereading Interwoven Conversations (Newman, 1991) the other day when I came across a critical incident about Danny — a six-year old who taught me to ask “Do you need help?” before barging in. I’m barging in with Andrew; he immediately raises his barriers, which in turn angers me because it leaves me nowhere to go. Hmm. So I guess I should at least be giving him some room to let me know how I can help him before we’re embroiled in his not-learning game. I can see I should ask if he needs help and accept it if he says ‘No.’ That gives him an out and me a way of leaving gracefully. I’ll try that tomorrow morning and see what happens (JN. Journal: Nov. 14, 1995).

The next day, when I asked Andrew if he needed help he considered my offer and then told me precisely what assistance he wanted when I followed up by asking ‘What do you need help with?’ That surprised me. In other words, I discovered that asking if he needed help made it possible for Andrew to retain control of the situation. It made it possible for him to engage in learning with me. My reflective writing helped me understand what was causing my struggle with Andrew and what I might do about it.

Bev, Andrew’s teacher, and I had a conversation one afternoon in which she described how she learned to accept his clear signals that he wouldn’t comply. As she wrote later

The issue of power and Andrew’s behaviour was a serious issue. I found myself challenged by the dilemma of how to give Andrew the power he needed without ‘caving in’ to his tyrannical behaviour. How could I get out of the power struggle that I didn’t want to be in and that Andrew continually created? One clue for me came when he told me one day that he didn’t want to go to music and if I forced him to go he would misbehave so that he would be sent out of the room. At that moment I knew he had it figured out — he was in control and he knew it. I had to learn ways of negotiating activities with him, allowing him acceptable choices. Instead of reacting in an authoritarian way I had to find ways of allowing him to choose to engage. Andrew has taught me that I can’t make anyone do anything he doesn’t want to; external power has limited impact; it’s internal power that makes a positive difference (BC. Journal: 4/21/1995).

Bev learned how to negotiate with Andrew. Her important insight was that Andrew was always in control and that she would never get anywhere trying to force him to do anything. Because she has become adept at reading his signals, he’s become much more involved and proficient at reading and writing and his behaviour is considerably less resistant. My coming to understand the dynamics of my interaction with Andrew allowed me to talk with Bev about his resistance and avoidance of learning. In turn, Bev and I were each able to restructure our relationship with Andrew.

O Canada!

Today, there was an op-ed piece in The Globe and Mail by Jean Chrétien – a former Prime Minister of Canada (1993-2013). It’s his 91st birthday and he has decided to speak out about trump’s threats against Canada. He lays out ways in which Canada, and Canadians, are not Americans:

I can tell you Canadians prize our independence. We love our country. We have built something here that is the envy of the world – when it comes to compassion, understanding, tolerance and finding a way for people of different backgrounds and faiths to live together in harmony.

We’ve also built a strong social safety net – especially with public health care – that we are very proud of. It’s not perfect, but it’s based on the principle that the most vulnerable among us should be protected.

This may not be the “American Way” or “the Trump Way.” But it is the reality I have witnessed and lived my whole long life.

We all recognize the current stresses Canadians are dealing with regarding public health care and housing but the undergirding principle, “that the most vulnerable among us should be protected and helped“, is still a Canadian value. In spite of the large current influx of immigrants, “people of different backgrounds and faiths“, we’ve done our best to live in harmony in our diverse communities. We are, after all, a country of immigrants; everyone, but people from our First Nations, are here because our forebears came from somewhere else. We know we need more people to sustain and build a vibrant Canada; that means welcoming newcomers.

He goes on:

If you think that threatening and insulting us is going to win us over, you really don’t know a thing about us….We may look easy-going. Mild-mannered. But make no mistake, we have spine and toughness.

To present and future leaders of our country he has this to say:

…you don’t win a hockey game by only playing defence. We all know that even when we satisfy one demand, Mr. Trump will come back with another, bigger demand. That’s not diplomacy; it’s blackmail.

…we also have to play offence. Let’s tell Mr. Trump that we too have border issues with the United States. Canada has tough gun control legislation, but illegal guns are pouring in from the U.S. We need to tell him that we expect the United States to act to reduce the number of guns crossing into Canada.

He adds several more issues the US needs to resolve with Canada to hold up their side of the “friendship” relationship before ending with: 

Every time that Mr. Trump opens his mouth, he creates new allies for all of us. So let’s get organized! To fight back against a big, powerful bully, you need strength in numbers.

I am ready at the ramparts to help defend the independence of our country as I have done all my life.

Trump’s threats to Canadian sovereignty are not a joke! If we’re to survive the next several years, we’re all going to have to become more engaged in the national conversation as leaders do their best to defend the independence of Canada and work to make our community and country a better place!

I’m 82; I’m ready to join Mr. Chrétien “at the ramparts!” I’m reaching out to find people who feel it’s time for a network to tackle the big problems facing us. We don’t all have to live in the same place to work together; we just need common goals and strategies. Anybody interested in joining Mr. Chrétien and me?

Amaryllis

Double Amaryllis

I bought this bulb in late November, planted it mid December. The photo on the package showed a single petal layer, but I’ve got a mix between single and double! There isn’t a full third layer of petals and it looks like there’s a single stamen! So likely an infertile flower – but lovely to look at. Two more blooms to come and maybe a second stalk (likely not). The stalk on this flower is quite short – not a bad thing since when the stalks become long, the plant has a tendency to overbalance and topple over. That’s not going to happen with this short stalk.

Not much else going on. Almost finished a pair of socks – this evening I anticipate. Then I plan to use the leftovers for another pair of socks – I’ve pulled out some contrasting solids that I will interleave with the variegated yarn to make sure I have enough for a smaller pair of ladies socks.

The holiday baking is nearly all consumed (well, not all of the fruitcake). That will be consumed over the year either to take to the knitting group or for a friend; I am able to avoid snacking on it, thank goodness.

Just about to open my fabric stash and sort through the batiks. There are some lovely batik fat quarter bundles I’ve seen online, but there’s no point in buying more until I see what I have already.

My life goes on calmly in spite of the political craziness all around. Canada amalgamating with the US – I swear, I’ll sign up to help organize a resistance group. The Prime Minister responded with “a snowball’s chance in hell” but where is Poilievre! Not a peep – where does he stand on this massive insult? Does he think it’s a great idea? How is he planning on dealing with trump 2.0? Not a word – just screaming anti-Trudeau garbage! And people consider that leadership? It’ll be interesting to see who steps up to lead the Liberal Party. The Liberals can’t win this coming election in the spring, but they don’t have to suffer a Mulroney massacre, either, if they can choose someone who knows how to offer a strong positive message and organize people and policy.

Back to resistance – a month ago I joined an American resistance organization – Indivisible: A Practical Guide to Democracy On The Brink – to eavesdrop on the discussion and to access their resources. This is one of many groups that sprang up in the run-up to the November US Election. This one has grown considerably since November. I’m lurking to have access to their “Strategies, Tactics, & Tips For How Everyday Americans Can Fight Back Together Wherever We Live”. We’re going to need those tactics if Canadians are stupid enough to give Poilievre a substantial majority government! Those of us opposed to his way of doing politics are going to have to organize dissent in a substantial way. Interested in joining me?

Jan 1, 2025

The year begins. I can’t say I’m filled with eager anticipation. I’m expecting another difficult year.

The political uncertainty in both Canada and the US will affect all of us in many unanticipated ways. There’s “Canada as 51st state of the Union” – our Arctic is going to feature in Canada-US relations in an increasingly signifiant way, as well as issues over tariffs and our southern border. There’s China’s hovering over Taiwan; the ongoing conflict in the middle east; the Ukraine/Russia war; and other hot spots which could flare unexpectedly.

There’s the swarm of misinformation that has taken over social media (I participate in as little of that world as I can get away with) affecting everybody’s perception of “truth”. I see Artificial Intelligence creeping onto my screen (as I write this, for example – it’s anticipating what I’m writing, filling in words, suggesting what to write next). I’m choosing to ignore the prompts – I’ll do a personal revision when I’ve got my thoughts sorted out.

I was born at the end of WWII. 80+ years later the economic and political stability that has been the backdrop throughout my lifetime is changing quicky and in unanticipated ways. It leaves me feeling unsettled. I feel it more this year than last – not just because of the outcome of the US election but that certainly is a factor. There’s nothing I can do about that.

I’m also in limbo artistically. I have that silk floral appliqué I should be thread painting – can’t get myself to work on it. In the next day or so I want to go through my fabric stash, picking out all the batik and sort it by colour so I have an idea of what I have. Jordan fabrics has lots of beautiful batik fat quarter bundles but given the current value of the Canadian dollar I figure I better check my stash before adding to it!

I have fabric to make a boiled wool jacket sweater; I have patterns that would work – can’t get going. I picked up some bamboo velour to make a new housecoat – stuck there, too. Maybe the first step forward will be going through the batiks….

Today, it’s foggy and damp; the snow from last week is almost gone. The days are getting longer (the winter solstice has come and gone) – we won’t notice that for several weeks yet. However, my phaelanopsis will respond to the change in daylight, and if I’m lucky, some of them will flower for me!

From 2022

This morning I replied to the New Year wishes letter from the eldest daughter in an Afghan family of seven (sponsored by the group to which I’m connected). They arrived in Halifax on Christmas Eve. For the past three years their lives have been unimaginably difficult and terrifying. She and her sisters speak English. Her parents do not. I explained what my role has been with two other immigrant families. I offered to visit for tea and conversation if her mother, in particular, was interested in learning English. Her mother is 60 – more than young enough to have a go at learning a bit of the language; certainly enough to engage with the world outside of their apartment. We’ll see if they take me up on my offer.

Time to get on with the rest of my day. Shortly, I’m off to visit a friend for tea and conversation! That will brighten my day. I just have to take 2025 one day at a time….

Holiday Greetings 2024!

A bit late for “Merry Christmas” but still in time to extend best wishes for 2025!

May the coming year bring you health and contentment; may you be able to carry on!

A couple of weeks ago my submission to the Central Library Sunroom Gallery was accepted. The acceptance letter asked me if I had a preference for when I’d like to show the quilts – I answered by suggesting sometime during the summer was my choice. The next note I received from the Gallery coordinator offered the end of December/25-January/26 time slot – not a great time to exhibit. I answered I would accept that time slot but I was disappointed and listed a couple of reasons.

The coordinator replied – “If you would rather not to exhibit in the winter, we could postpone your exhibit to a preferred time of year in 2026. If you don’t mind the delay, I would be happy to work with you on a date that is better for you.

I discussed the choice with my sister Donna. “My age is a factor in this decision – should I take the sooner rather than the later time slot,” I asked. “Leave age out of it, when is the better time of year to show?” she replied. “Summer, of course.” “Well, then, accept a summer 2026 time slot. It may be 6 months further away, and you’ll be 83, but you have no guarantee you’ll make it home for dinner!”

She’s right, of course. Take life day by day! (That’s all any of us has.) Enjoy each day. Take pleasure from the small things that happen. An unexpected conversation, something nice to eat, finishing a particularly challenging puzzle, being able to do something for someone else, a pleasantry in the elevator, a good workout at the pool, a leisurely  walk, the sunshine!

Yesterday, I used the morning to make 8 small zippered bags – five were gifts to take to Christmas dinner I was having with a long-time friend and her family. I also found time to complete my annual charitable giving and talk to both sisters before going to the Christmas feast of turkey, mashed potatoes, roasted carrots and parsnips, green beans, stuffing and kugel, with cranberry sauce. For desert we had cherry pie and an ice cream/raspberry sherbet concoction – “a bombe glacé” – both traditions for this family (instead of plum pudding). There was no room for cookies or fruit cake, both of which were available.

Best of all I received a small gift. Geoff knows I enjoy the challenge of a physical puzzle. For years, he’s given me a difficult one. This one is called “The Mangler” – difficultly level 4 stars!

The Mangler

The objective – to separate the two pieces of the puzzle. I could see I needed to align the centre prongs in such a way that they’d slide past one another but I just couldn’t find a way to manipulate the two pieces to make that happen. I gave in when I got home and looked up the solution – there’s a tricky twist you have to make so you can slip the end of the right hand piece under the arch of the left hand piece and suddenly the prongs are aligned and the two pieces slip apart!

The Mangler – Solved!

The puzzle Geoff gave me four years ago (the last time I was at Christmas dinner with the family) was an exceptionally difficult one. It required some large number of steps, done in a precise order, to separate the two parts. I solved it with help from the instructions but there was no way I was going to remember how to do that one. This one is obvious once you understand how to set up the alignment!

I ended the day by dropping in on Ruby’s family gathering to greet her large gang.

None of us knows what’s in store for tomorrow.

You’ve made it through 2024. All the best in the coming year.

Judith