In August, I came across Ross Bolton’s writing by accident. At the time, I didn’t realize I was reading fiction. I left a rather snarky comment on his post which offended him – he thought I should have recognized I was reading fiction. After a couple of exchanges with Ross, I subscribed to his substack, and have been reading (and commenting) ever since.

Ross is from Louisiana. Not positive he actually has Acadian relatives (hence his connection to Canada), but his stories (A semi-true story. Mostly true, except the parts I made up) are sharp and to the point and quite often amusing, certainly food for thought.

The last couple have been about CUSMA – at least as a Canadian you immediately know what he’s writing about, I’m guessing most Americans don’t get it.

Here’s the first part: it’s about two neighbours, Earl and Gordon.

[A semi-true story. Mostly true, except for the parts I made up, and the parts I forgot, so I made them better. Any resemblance to real neighbours, living or tweeting, is purely coincidental.]

Gordon Pelletier and Earl Whitcomb had lived side by side for thirty-one years.

It was a good arrangement.

Earl’s snowblower lived in Earl’s garage. Gordon’s mower lived in Gordon’s shed. When it snowed, Gordon walked over and took out the snowblower. When the grass got long, Earl did the same with the mower.

Neither man ever asked. That was the deal….

But out of the blue, Earl decides to charge Gordon a fee (it’s not exactly clear that it’s for the use of the snowblower, because the relationship is much more complex than that. Read Until the Warranty Runs Out.

Next day comes part 2: My Canadian Neighbour Walked Away from the Best Deal in the World (the title a little more direct, in case you missed the reference in the first part).

It was the first thing Earl had ever written down.

Now, about that pen. Earl keeps a coffee can of them on his kitchen counter, one per bank visit since 1988. Most of them don’t work. Gordon had never once seen him lend one out.

“A deal,” Earl said. “A very good deal. For both parties.”

Gordon took it to the kitchen table. Louise put the kettle on. Murphy lay down on Gordon’s feet, which is what Murphy does when papers come into the house.

It was a good deal, mostly. The fees would be cut in half. Gordon could have the red snowblower back, the one that only ever started for him. Earl would stop calling the fence a disaster, at least on weekdays.

Gordon read it twice. Then he read clause seven a third time.

The party of the second part shall not borrow, lend or otherwise exchange equipment with any other household without the prior approval of the party of the first part.

“That’s the Lees,” Louise said, reading over his shoulder.

“That’s the Lees,” said Gordon.

You can’t miss the REAL story here. Very well written.

You definitely should take time to read both parts (there may be more coming; I’m sure there will be more as the CUSMA story unfolds in the days/months ahead).

Part 1: Until the Warranty Runs Out

Part 2: My Canadian Neighbour Walked Away from the Best Deal in the World